• The Body Perfect Complex

      The Body Perfect Complex

      by GayLord Jacobs

      What is the obsession with looking like a Silicon infused Jackalope Playmate on steroids? Given, everyone wants to look their best whenever possible. Granted, exercise as you may, sometimes those stubborn pounds, inches and rolls just won’t come off.

      But, to have damn near all of the fat either sucked out of your body, or melted away with a contour, and then have, what you consider, your erogenous power points inflated with anything from Botox, to silicon, to paint sealant, to rat poison, is just plain trifling! And in some cases, to have this shit injected and inserted into your body by un-trained/licensed medical personnel is just plain crazy!

      Okay, so you’re broke and can’t afford to pay to have the procedure(s) professionally done? Cool. Then save up your pennies until you can afford to have the procedure(s) professionally done. Unless you just don’t mind having your breast, buttocks, face and stomach fall down to your feet, understand this…THERE IS NO OFF MARKET, IN-BETWEEN, or DISCOUNTED RATE on plastic surgery!
      Stop being so pressed and messy with your business!

      Most people, including myself, are not opposed to nips, tucks, pulls, lifts, etcetera. Hell, you can even throw in some suction to the fats cells, and then squeegee the dead skin from your face while you’re at it. It’s not my business… But, where do we draw the line? We can’t bitch and moan about being “fat asses” only to trade it in for being “Phat asses that now look like Syphilis seeking whores serving a side of Chlamydia as a door prize!”

      Men, you are not off the hook thus this applies to you as well! A nice solid six to eight pack of Abs is a wonderful deal. The beach body needs to be tight and in orda! However, out of the approximately 700 muscles in the human body, 64 of them don’t need to be that of defined Abs! And dude, we know that those are neither your real Pectorals, nor your real Man package! You look like a broke down cross between Arnold Schwarzenegger and John Holmes! Cut It Out!

      People, all I’m saying is this: We, as a society, have gone into overkill mode. Because we’ve created a world in which people do not succeed based upon their intellect, experience and merit, for very unjustifiable reasons, they then have to compete with the younger, prettier, handsomer, toner, 30ish something individuals. Okay, cool. (Well, it’s really not cool, but okay) But remember, in doing you, sometimes, less is truly better.

      As an adult, stop creating a physical persona that suggests that you are some sort of desperate, over 39, has been! You may be the most beautiful of spirits; however, no one will ever see past that train wreck of a façade that you have delegated as your representative!

      Yes, by all means, take pride in your physical presentation. With that, have a bit of class about yourself. Further, for the sake of self-respect, learn to age gracefully! And, for good measure, say “Fuck You!” to anybody that refuses to accept you as is. Imperfections and all! Nobody has a perfect body, and no one ever will. Besides, who wants to snuggle up with some rock hard fake shit anyway?

      Postscript… Ladies, stop wearing all that goddamn weave